Identity: The Card Game?

An observation borrowed from @drunken.republican: from most to least oppressed and therefore important, the Left’s points system works like this: sexual preference, race, gender, victimized trauma, and then possibly occupational status.  Straight white male ranks the lowest (not sure if it’s because of this point system, or if the point system simply emerged around this core truth, like a crystal.)  So for example, if I was a straight black male, I would rank as more oppressed than my own assault victims, as is the case with Jacob Blake and George Floyd. This points system also explicates why black transwomen were able to successfully highjack the Democrats’ Town Hall event, several months ago.  The LGBT acronym monstrosity is all the way up to LGBTQQIP2SAA, now, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bixexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Pansexual, 2-Spirited, Asexual, and of course Allies.  The gay pride rainbow flag is now including colors to represent people of color, because if it doesn’t, that would be violence (I presume; that’s the usual answer).  

There is only one rational response to all of this, and that is to codify it into a board game or at least an app for iPhone and Android.  Hm.  It could be called “Social Justice Warrior” or perhaps only “Identity” and…well, it’s already problematic.  I mean, if the player gets to choose their own avatar, from a bank of characteristics, then obviously they’ll just get decked out on the victimhood side of each spectrum and win, no contest.  No avatar will ever play this game as a straight white male, the ultimate losing proposition.  Well, it would have to be set in a world where the gains of victim status are balanced by the risks of something like income or employability, but no one would play that game, it wouldn’t be attractive enough.  

Oh — there would have to be advantage built in for choosing an avatar with fewer built-in victim points but the opportunity of greater ally points, maximize-able through the speed with which you obeise your avatar to one with more built-in victim points.  It could be a question of who gets to grab the microphone from whom?  And if you misjudge, based on the spectrum of your avatar’s identity and obeisance, versus that of the other’s, and you try to grab the mike, you just bounce off or something.  And it could be timed, where whoever’s holding the microphone at the end of the round wins.  

There would have to be some algorithm representing the strategic attack of claiming x y z as violence.  Like, you can have an avatar with fewer victim points (and therefore greater potential of ally points) but with a really fucked up name you just hammered out on the keyboard randomly, and you rack up more points every time your avatar is subjected to the violence of someone mispronouncing its name?

And then you get bonus points for punching bogies in the face, which is not violence, and the bogies all wear MAGA hats.  

It might work better as a card game, actually.  Everyone draws from piles of sexual preference, race, gender, and victimized trauma, with bonus cards floating around designating you a sex worker as well, and then you try to maximize the advantage of your hand.  If you can’t out-victim your opponent’s characteristics but you can ally with them, by opposing another player’s characteristics on their behalf, you have the opportunity to take the whole hand, despite not being the biggest victim.  Hm.  

There would be these Social Justice Takedown cards randomly inserted in the decks, and they change the stakes dramatically.  Okay — so one type is occupational, and it either makes you a sex worker, on top of your other characteristics, or it makes you a cop.  Then there are violence cards, either micro-aggression or felony assault, and you can either hold on to those or pawn them off on other players, depending on what benefits your hand.  And then maybe some other random qualifier cards you stumble across here and there, enumerating how many facial tattoos and piercings you have.  You have to be careful with these if your hand is straight, white, or male, but they can be to your advantage in other combinations.

I think the LGBTQQIP2SAA cards would be problematic because, except for the first four, no one knows what the fuck they mean or how to play them.  Maybe there could be cards for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans, and then just one other card that says “QQIP2SAA” and you just slap that shit down as a hail mary when you’re about to lose a hand?  And what if someone drew a hand that was, like, lesbian black male?  I don’t think it’d be an issue, really.  Anyone willing to play this game would just roll with it.  

Now, here’s a question: is the ally option simple or complex?  Anyone who draws a white card is obviously hosed unless they ally with someone, fast, but can you also get points for fucking over your allies?

There’s a lot to work out.  This would need some serious beta testing, amiright.  

A follow up game, pending the success of “Identity”, would be called “Pet or Meat?”, where various combinations of animal species and characteristics are in play, with the added complexity of geographical location and Emotional Support Animal bonus cards sprinkled throughout the deck.  There could also be options of “litter box trained” or “delicious with ketchup” or “wears little outfits” cards.

Just blogging million dollar ideas, here, as usual.  Oh!  Oh my god.  There could be a card game called “Co-Morbidities”!  The goal is to die from COVID, so it’s a low-points-wins game, but you get penalized throughout the hand by being assigned additional co-morbidity cards, mitigated by mask and face shield cards.  Then you have to either survive long enough to address your co-morbidities with the ultimate goal of dying clean of COVID.  Or conversely, maybe the goal should be to die of COVID with as many co-morbidities on board as possible?  That one needs more thought.  

Okay, on with my day.  Reasonably good deadlift session yesterday, on to squats today.  Getting out of bed at 4:55a was a creaky affair.  I will try to eat more food, earlier in the day, so I don’t run out of gas under the barbell again :-/ 

I just bought $500 more of Bitcoin yesterday so of course today the price dropped by a grand dammit, 11k ish to 10k ish.  I’m really curious what the price of BTC etc will be at the end of this year!  Cryptos are a game everyone can play but hardly anyone does.  When it goes up to $100k, don’t say I didn’t try to tell you.       

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