How Not To Get Shot By Cops

These Libs are unbelievable.  I’m disassociating myself from the brand, although and even because of course I still espouse classically liberal ideas.  You take the worst person on earth who shows up to do the worst things, on purpose, for fun, and they make him an idol, an icon, a martyr.  There’s literally no end to the excuses as to why that person has no choice but to be a full time piece of shit.  You take someone who demonstrates literally any degree of individual empowerment and resistance to group-think, and they shriek themselves hoarse, crucifying him or her.   

Even if I was MSM brainwashed enough to think cops were killing black people for fun all the time — and they’re not; please enjoy another spree of clarity and perspective by Heather MacDonald, Hillsdale’s resident bullshit-caller, and the only data cruncher to admit that a cop is 18.5x more likely to be killed by a black male than an unarmed black male is to be killed by a cop — okay, so even if I thought that, how could I get myself fucked up enough to actually reverse assignations of virtue and blame in intention aligned with action?  

“You didn’t raise your fist at the restaurant — it’s people like you that turn a blind eye to systemic racism and if you’re not with us you’re against us and if you’re not actively anti-racist, you’re racist, so therefore the fact that you won’t raise your fist instead of eating your sandwich proves systemic racism”.  And by the way, that one lady in the DC restaurant who wouldn’t raise her fist had peacefully attended several BLM marches and rallies, and was down with the cause, but simply — and very relatably — did not resonate with being bullied into a show of kamaraderie.  

I haven’t seen a lot of shade thrown her way, but I have seen assurances that she’s an actress and it was anti-BLM propaganda lmfaoooo!  Like, BLM acting the way they actually act is written off as carefully manufactured anti-BLM propaganda, and then when it turns out, no, that’s actually them being themselves, now enter 1000 excuses as to why being a full time piece of shit, en masse, is just what this country needs right now, except not to the extent it affect the polls.  

The raccoon snuff film — “That’s appalling, and you’re a racist for blindly assuming BLM would do something like that and posting it on your page; you’re smearing the movement.”  Okay, insert proof that the people in the video and the person who uploaded the video are, despite quite a few grammar errors, very clearly claiming that they have beaten and killed this animal as a commentary on how cops beat and kill black people, and go BLM.  Now, magically, the video is no longer appalling, but I’m still a racist.

Several people have privately told me they won’t say anything about all this on social media because they’re worried Big Tech is using our self-disclosures to sort us into categories, later, if things don’t go well in the freedom department.  The thought had occurred to me, of course, and while I understand the impulse, I can’t agree with it.  How can we know we’ll do the right thing when it’s hard, if we don’t choose to do the right thing when it’s easy?  In a cancel culture climate of such endless and actually quite severe repercussions, for refusing to pay lip service to this narrative, I think every single voice begging to differ is a really important influence.  There have been so many times I’ve known, but not said, what I felt, because it’s just so risky and invites the piranhas, but it really really mattered to me that I saw someone else being brave enough to say it (and…piranhas.  Text bubbles…more piranhas…text bubbles…more piranhas…)

I think my favorite thing is when wokes assume that I unintentionally said something that falls short of the woke ideal, and delicately draw my attention to the fact that I might want to rephrase, in order to assure everyone that I did not actually mean x y z, as it could be misconstrued, and which would be terribly tone deaf in this historical and rhetorical moment in time.  Yes, that’s definitely my favorite thing.  “Ah, yes.  Let me rephrase:…”  If Big Tech is listening, I’ll be in one of the first batches to go to the FEMA camp.  

I’m actually pretty confused as to how anyone, let alone this many people, and this consistently, have managed to assume I’m woke, or would go woke, or have been woke, or intended to convey woke, or that I would be having any of this woke shit for even five minutes?  That’s the really odd part.  I think there’s some people, you just look at them and you know: there’s no woke here.  This is a woke vacuum.  This person is gonna tell me exactly what he thinks, and it ain’t gonna be a philosophical self-licking ice cream cone.  And it’s probably gonna be someone you call to fix your shit when it breaks, because they know how to.  I’m still cracking up that the mob didn’t understand enough about Quickrete to successfully burn all the Seattle East Precinct officers alive.  Maybe if they’d spent one goddamn day in their life working.  For some reason, though — I think it’s just that I’m from Flagstaff and played live music and am known as a vegan and did some fine art modeling, that type of thing, there’s some persistent assumption that I can be urged, bullied, or reminded into a state of wokeness.  

I definitely know who has a head on their shoulders, these days.  People I’ve known for years, casually or in one context or another, have emerged as either fundamentally reliable, or fundamentally unreliable, protagonists, in the face of this power grab, and that’s interesting.  Some people, like I said, are not emerging at all, because they’re not tryna be put on the train to FEMA camp.  

To me, when we all start to pay verbal homage to an overlay, a placeholder reality, which drifts further and further from actual events — like those assiduously benign exchanges of a family with deep domestic violence and/or addiction issues — that’s when we’re fucked.  That’s the hallmark of a nation in trouble; when the stakes are too high to speak freely, and everyone everywhere just offers reflexive, self-protective homage to the thing, whatever the thing is, whether they believe it or not, and sort of shudders at news of dissidents or rebels being put down.  Up is down, good is bad, right is wrong; maintain plausible deniability in case anyone’s listening.  No wonder they assumed I intended to say something woke lolllll.  Oh god, it’s really funny to offend people (especially from Flagstaff) and inflame their sensitivities.  I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it on purpose, but they literally make it unavoidable.  All you have to do is say something that makes sense in an unapologetic way.  Like: Kyle Rittenhouse is my new personal hero, and here are the reasons.    

How the hell did I live there, all those years?  I always knew something was off.  I never formed a social group that really worked, I always felt mostly alone.  I should award myself the medal of honor for having felt that way, before I knew why.  It’s a bubble of crazy.  I love, LOVE seeing all the international reads I’m getting on my blog, not that I’m appealing to an international audience, because I would have no idea how to do that.  Apparently I have something offer, though, from the perspectives of people in Japan, Canada, France, UK, India, Sweden, Australia, Austria, Germany, the Netherlands, South Africa, Russia, New Zealand, Singapore, Thailand, Switzerland, Israel, Kenya, Bangladesh, UAE (omg that’d be sweet if it was CryptoJack — “what’s up guys and welcome back to another vidjeo”), Morocco, Philippines, Spain, Mexico, and Denmark.  Happy to have an international community of readers, because even my predominately US readership is feeling more and more like people from at least my same planet.  

If I could say just one thing to all these US and global citizens, I suppose it would be…all you have to do, to *not* be shot by cops in the US, is follow their instructions.  It doesn’t matter the color of your skin, the number of times they’ve arrested you before, the quantity of weapons, legal or illegal, you have on your person or in your car, the number of people they’re aware you’ve killed, raped, robbed, beaten, or pimped out.  

Cops are, like, the simplest and most predictable mechanism of all time.  They come equipped with a violence dial, in fact.  If you want to dial up their violence, don’t do what they say.  If you want to dial down their violence, do what they say.  Getting people to do what they say is how they survive their shifts and get home to their families each night, so it’s a pretty big deal to them.  I don’t know how that is so hard to understand.  In the world of the martyred career predator, and the demonized public servant, resisting arrest seems brave, I suppose.  This entire year, 2020, is the year of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.  

I’m grateful to my poor readers for suffering through these diatribes.  I want to offer good content, and sometimes I do, but this stuff is just crazy and someone’s gotta say it, and quite often that person is me.  Every single person who wants to defund the police, from the politicians and celebrities on down, needs to have their personal security defunded, first of all, and 911 calls blocked from their personal phone, second of all.  Voila — your wish is granted, for you personally, and since you don’t get to choose for other tax payers, now LE can focus on those who do desire the option of their services — like me.  No one’s stopping you from having a crisis counselor on speed dial.  Go ahead and call a social worker.  It’s a free country.  Better yet, call Heather MacDonald.  I’d pay good money to be able to call Kyle “the Reaper” Rittenhouse lmao. 

Under normal circumstances it would be worth discussing racial disparities in the justice system — let’s say you you’re a black male, you don’t resist arrest, so you don’t get shot, but then what happens next?  Apparently what happens next is your supposedly representative political party, the Democrats, advance as presidential and vice presidential candidates those individuals who have incarcerated non-violent black offenders in record numbers, throughout their careers — literally record numbers — to square off with the incumbent, who is the only president in memory to have actually reformed racial disparities in the justice system, so…whoever’s able to wrap their head around this is probably not out getting arrested in the first place.  My god, people.  #walkaway, that’s really all there is to it.  You don’t need a bulletproof vest; what you need is a MAGA hat.  Well, that’s what you need in response to the manufactured racial justice crisis, but not the real one.  In actual historically Democrat controlled cities, you do need a bulletproof vest.  In a world where cops have to arrest the same career predator nine times, and known killers walk the streets, terrorizing their own neighborhoods — hell yeah the justice system is broken.  The post-COVID justice system is especially broken, incarcerating pastors for holding services and letting violent felons out.  The gal that was murdered by her formerly incarcerated rapist, who was let out for COVID — unbelievable.   

I love the emergence of all these black conservative voices, calling out the crazy.  Stepping into the limelight as a black conservative, right now, is the political version of an open cash register.  The world is your oyster.  It’s like Cartmann on South Park, realizing he could go quadruple platinum in the Christian genre rather than bolo in the mainstream, except a lot less disingenuous.  I don’t know how many black conservatives have to stand on stages and say things that makes sense before woke whites stop calling them Uncle Toms, but since there’s no end to the backwards thinking, name-calling, and self-consuming racism of the Left, I assume it will go on for quite a bit longer.

Can you imagine dating in all this?  Before 2020, it was *already* hard.  There were already, automatically, more reasons not to date any given person, than to date them.  The difficulty of finding someone who looks right, has an equivalent level of education or ambition, cares about their body to the same extent you do (a lot, or not at all, or willing to be the trophy, or willing to be the “lucky one”, or whatever), matches your level of relative queerness or hetero-normative-ness, is remotely in the right age bracket, wants kids too or doesn’t want kids too, isn’t an embarrassment at parties or online, has their own car, has their own income, doesn’t have an actually insane family, doesn’t have awful, awful friends, brings the pheromones and chemistry, doesn’t smell bad, lives in your city or town or somewhere you’re willing to commute to, isn’t playing head games, isn’t having your head games, and my god — disqualifier of all disqualifiers, doesn’t have a tragic OR absent sense of humor — because all the rest can be at threshold but the humor mismatch kills it every time — AND THEN you have to figure it out in a lockdown and attempted political coup??  You have to care, or not care, about masks to the same extent, and find someone who shares your equivalent level of crazy or not crazy, relative to the most polarizing series of events in America since the Civil War??  

Those of us who managed to roll into this in relationships (which did not immediately devolve into domestic violence like fifteen days into lockdown, because it turns out a functioning economy was the only thing stopping you from beating the shit out of each other) — and I did, but only barely, because we were on the rocks before this — are incredibly lucky, I’d say. Some of the rioter girls are dressed pretty sexy, I noticed, so maybe that’s replaced the normal dating landscape, since you can’t just go grab a drink together anymore. I’ll never forget our first date — we smashed in the windshield of a cop car together. Her face looked so wild and free in the moonlight, as she refused orders A, B and C to disband and then got hit by a rubber bullet.

I wonder if the Millennials — and this is all about the spiritually wounded Millennials, obviously — just don’t get that some people are honest to god predators.  The fact that a disproportionate amount of them are black is just too uncomfortable.  And the fact that no one can do anything about that, except the black community itself, feels too…helpless?  Politically incorrect?  I think Baltimore and DC and Chicago and Philly and all these other areas could, and well may, experience cultural renaissance in their poorest, blackest segments, if enough people can #walkaway and align with new voices and new ideals and new expectations.  God, I would love to see that.  It’s just like the Reservation, where I grew up — all the ingredients are there.  Great people, great resources, ambition, identity, community concern, economic incentive.  Just add a functioning ideology and it will combust — like an engine, not like a dumpster fire.  I’d love, love, love to see these urban ghettos and broken down reservations Theodore Roosevelt themselves the fuck up.  Get a new deal.  Get a set of principles that actually support the weight of a community, a direction, a functioning self-governance.  We’ll see.

Before I close, let me go ahead and check the news, to see if there’s anything important I missed.  Hm…CBSN: Kamala Harris Vows To Stand With Protestors In Kenosha, Wisconsin.  Perfect.  districtherald.com: Rich Writer Cheers Rioters Burning Poor Areas, Calls Them ‘Animals’ When They Get To His.  Yep, sounds about right.  I think that maneuver is colloquially referred to as “pulling a Jenny Durkan”.  Or, “that guy just got Durkened”.  The old saying used to be, “A conservative is a liberal who just got mugged, and a liberal is a conservative who just spent the night in jail.”  I think it needs an update: “A conservative is a liberal who just had their business set on fire, and a liberal is a conservative who just found out they can break every law and still be the victim.”  On Instagram, I follow a bunch of wildland firefighter types and a bunch of conservative pages, so my feed is constantly full of shit on fire, and I have to look really closely to see if it’s a forest or, like, a church marquis with ‘Black Lives Matter” barely visible through the flames.      

6 thoughts on “How Not To Get Shot By Cops

  1. ” I’d love, love, love to see these urban ghettos and broken down reservations Theodore Roosevelt themselves the fuck up. Get a new deal. Get a set of principles that actually support the weight of a community, a direction, a functioning self-governance”.

    Ive said this too. You dont need outside white people and interlopers when you are working in your own neighborhood at the most local level possible. NYC folks turned our local power crews away and had union guys do it, albeit as slow as possible. People patrol the neighborhoods in my parts after the storms to keep order, and threaten redneck assholes stealing things.I didnt want FEMA , DOJ, or anyone like that showing up. Now its their turn.

    1. I didn’t get to post yesterday’s bc work so had a backlog!

      Sweet – def post of pic of yourself awkwardly wearing traditional polish garb for no good reason. That’s how dems pander, anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

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